On the 12th day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me

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On the 12th day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me,

12 dudes I'm blocking,
11 friends just watching,
10 corny topics,
9 busted barbies,
8 friends complaining,
7 stalkers stalking,
6 party invites,
5 drama queens,
4 game requests,
3 photo tags,
2 friends-a-pokin &
a creep who wont stop inboxing me!

Potential Facebook Update

Current (Old) Format:

Possible (New) Format:

Where will it end?

Scroll Scroll

What did he see?
Let's hope we don't see it

They see me scrollin', they haten.

Funny Social Posts

Alan Garner Tweet
My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, And they're like "It wasn't that hard."

Will Ferrell Parody
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.

When you say the word "poop" your mouth does the same motion as your butt hole. The same can be said for the phrase, explosive diarrhea."

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╚(•⌂•)╝Share your feeling/thoughts right now

Funny Facebook Status Updates

1. When you have a flask, every hour is happy hour.
2. Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
3. Never drink water – if it can rust iron, imagine what it can do to your stomach.
4. It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is. It’s always room-temperature.
5. Always forgive your enemies – Nothing annoys them so much.
6. When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
7. Always borrow money from a pessimist.A  He won’t expect it back.
8. If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
9. Where there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives.
10. Accept that some days you’re the pigeon and some days you’re the statue.
11. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
12. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
13. Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
14. Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
15. Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.
16. Never forget a friend, especially those that owe you–Chinese Proverb
17. You can’t have everything, where would you put it?
18. Strangers have the best candy.
19. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes. -Jack Handy
20. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
21. When the blind leadeth the blind, get out of the way.
22. Keep smiling – it makes everyone wonder what you’re up to.
23. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel…just hope it’s NOT a train!
24. If it doesn’t fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.
25. If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.
26. Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it.
27. Money may not buy happiness, but it sure makes misery much easier to live with.
28. Whoever said money can’t buy happiness doesn’t know where to shop.
29. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
30. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
31. Money can’t buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
32. Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may make it illegal.
33. When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
34. There’s nothing more restful than taking orders from fools.
35. He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.
36. Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?
37. I’d rather have Lockheed deliver the mail than ride around in a plane built by the post office.
38. Time flies when you don’t know what you’re doing.
39. Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
40. We are the people our parents warned us about.
41. Love your enemies. It’ll make ‘em crazy.
42. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
43. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
44. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
45. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
46. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
47. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
48. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
49. When in doubt, mumble.
50. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
51. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
52. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
53. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
54. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
55. What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can’t understand.

Introducing Facebook Gifts

Every day, millions of people share special moments with their friends on Facebook by saying "Happy Birthday," "Congratulations," or simply, "I'm thinking of you." Now there is another way to celebrate those moments.

Starting today, you can give real gifts to your friends on Facebook using Gifts.

Gift easily and instantly You can send gifts from birthday reminders, or from your friend's timeline.

Choose a gift, attach a card and send. You can post your gift to your friend's timeline or send it privately. Your friend can then unwrap a preview of the gift and it will show up on their doorstep a few days later.

You can pay right away or add your payment details later. Your friend provides their address.

To make sure they love the gift, they can choose the color, size or flavor that they want, or even exchange it for something else of equal value.

There are hundreds of gifts with more added every day: cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery, a stuffed animal from Gund, or a digital gift card from Starbucks.

Availability
Facebook Gifts will roll out gradually, first to people in the U.S. To learn more, visit Facebook.com/Gifts.

Facebook Sports Argument

Go sports team, beat the other opposing sports team!

Your sports team sucks.

No your sport team sucks.

Well my sports team has scored a lot more goal basket run down points

Random fact about the personal life of one of the players on your sports team that has nothing to do with the game, but is still insulting!!!

This is where I tell you my sports team player was acquitted of all rape charges.

*Shakes Fist* Damn you opposing sports team fan!!!

I'm changing my name to "Nobody" on Facebook, so when I see stupid crap people post, I can like it and it will say "Nobody likes this".

Likecoholic

This is a great illustration. The subject has infused a tube to feed Facebook directly into his vein and has overdosed on an overwhelming surge of 'Like' arms.

Facebook Changes

I can't speak for any of you, but thinking back into the past few years, and comparing to now, Facebook has gotten a lot slower. They've added so many new features, code, scripts, it's very different from the minimalist concept from years ago. I think the main culprit of the slowness issue is the timeline. Also the number of sidebar content, trying to cram as much content in every screen as possible to increase traffic, ultimately leading to lag, less page views and consequentially people turning off the computer due to frustration. Maybe somebody should tell the Facebook developers whats happening, they probably don't realize it because of their military grade hardware and internet connections. I exaggerate of course, but compared to the average person, professional equipment is a lot more sophisticated.

Jason Updates his Facebook

Facebook Self-Like

Why does Facebook even
give me the option to 'Like'
my own status.
Of course I like my statues,
I'm fucking hilarious.
And sexy.

Internet Security

So it's almost back to school time for millions of North American students. And what do I see on Facebook? Of course people plastering their school schedules for everyone in the world to find, and use as a stalkers tool. What would compel someone to post a personal schedule that is in effect for that person for the next couple of months? It seems really very stupid to me. This isn't a matter of being overly paranoid about security or stalkers and anything like that, this is about people blatantly publicizing where and when they will be on the internet. Are they hoping someone they know will find the class schedule, plan a party and class will be cancelled for a pizza party or something? It's ridiculous,  and sheer discontent in my book. Maybe this phenomenon is just another example of how Facebook is used to give the illusion of staying in touch with acquaintances without ever having to so much as put in five seconds of effort or attention. Perhaps the knowledge of someone's schedule and giving others open access to your own provides a form of comfort so individuals can feel like they are still close with one another when in reality they are nothing more than strangers in a strange place.

Annoying Meme Trend

These posts are too annoying, they are awful; "Share if you know what this is," "Share if you had this, you had a perfect childhood," "If you remember these you are super, share and like" etc. Annoying me so much. Who the hell keeps publishing these things? Some hermit stuck in the past, unable to live in the present. Or just someone trying to be annoying. Either way, mission accomplished, you can stop making these.

Job Opportunity With Facebook

Think your a skilled gamer?
Like using Facebook applications?
Want an opportunity to tell the world what you think?
Want to get payed for talking about games?

Game Time, is looking for insightful and talented writers to review Facebook applications. Get paid to play and write about Facebook apps, work from anywhere and anytime you want. As much or little as you want.

Why should I write for Game Time? Work into your own schedule. Make your own decisions, be your own boss. Earn a Residual income (also called passive, or recurring income) is income that continues to be generated after the initial effort has been expended. Get paid for doing what you do everyday. Can work anywhere and anytime. Get payed what you deserve, limitless opportunity.

Applications are being submitted to Game Time's Accounts Manager Jim Hume, the application process asks for a sample application review, get started by checking out some reviews on the Game Time website. 


Good luck!

Facebook Default Profile Pictures

Cool 28 new Facebook Profile Pictures inspired by Facebook's default standard profile picture.
Upload for yourself or share with someone you know. Very neat graphics fun.

Darth Vader	Buddha	Can Headphones
Albert Einstein	Arrow Through Head	Big Afro Guy
Frankenstein	Crow	Guitar Strapped on
Guy with short Pigtails	Joel	George Washington
Kitty	Michel Jackson (Bad)	Mickey Mouse
MyBook / (FaceSpace?)	Ninja	Old School Punk
Rabbit	Realistic	Reddit Alien
Rock on	Skull and Crossbones	Stewie Griffin
Pirate	Viking Horns	Yoda

iPod

Maintain anninimity whilst personalizing your profile(s) further.

Facebook by Dr. Seuss

Do you like your new profile?
Would you like it for a while?
Well that's too bad, it's just tough shit
'The time has come to fuck with it.

You cannot post a camel toe.
You cannot post if titties show.
We will ban you here and there
Go back to MySpace, we don't care.

The Timeline sucks, you hate the switch?
Well fuck right off, you whining bitch.
Just when you think you know the score
We'll change your Facebook up some more.

Facebook App Center

Last week, Facebook released the App Center a new place for people to find social apps. The App Center gives developers an additional way to grow their apps and creates opportunities for more types of apps to be successful.

While patrolling the new feature itself I was quite impressed with it, the categorizations, recommendations and simplistic yet efficient sorting capabilities are really great. Whilst scrolling I passed over a number of apps of interest that I would not have seen or come across them in such a way that I wouldn't dismiss immediately. I feel the previous app suggestion format was too advertisement oriented and thus everything presented was dismissed immediately.

I really look forward to utilizing this new directory style format and applaud the Facebook Developers good work.

Facebook App Center Homepage

Facebook App Center - Games

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