Blue Hair Girl with Crazy Tongue

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Blue Hair Girl with Crazy Tongue. Gif.

Surprises, Keep Love Alive

I'm pregnant.
I'm sterile.

Keep love alive, they said.

Heels Don't Heal

And yet they still go through the trouble of buying skanky heels, just to get attention and eventually get a broken foot.

$7 Box of Makeup

Mom bought me more crayons - I have eyebrows again.

To Eat or Not to Eat

Women have to make a lot of really tough decisions everyday...

Do you want hipbones or pizza?

A gap between your thighs or cake?

Collarbones or sweets?

A flat stomach or soda?

If You're a Female

I'm a female.

Fe = Iron

Male = Man

Therefore I am Iron Man.

Fantastic Female Illustrations

She's Broke = He's Ok

Very simply illustrating that a girl with no money will date any guy as long as he has money. Pay off her bills, buy her dinner, lend her your credit card and she'll be your best friend for as long as the money still flows. If the guy's money run out or he decides not to be an atm she'll leave and find another sucker. Sad but true.

Competative Baby Toss Games

While on a picnic a toddler grows restless and so the mother decides to throw her child into the air to calm it down, up and down, over and over, the woman throws her baby higher and higher into the air while the woman's friends sit and watch the event with their babies nestled in strollers, safely, boring but safe.

THE MAN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH

She Says... /She Means...

We need / I want

It’s your decision. / The correct decision should be

obvious by now.

Do that you want. / You’ll pay for this later.

We need to talk. / I need to complain.

I’m not upset. / Of course I’m upset, you moron!

You’re.. . so manly. / You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You’re certainly attentive tonight. / Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights. / I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient. / I want a new house.

I want new curtains.. / and carpet and furniture and wallpaper...

Hang the picture there. / NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise. / I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? / I’m going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? / I did something today you’re really not going to like.

I’ll be ready in a minute. / Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Are you listening to me!? / Too late, you’re dead.

Yes / No

No / No

Maybe / No

Do you like this recipe? / It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

Quiet Man & Quiet Woman

"A QUIET MAN IS A THINKING MAN."

"A QUIET WOMAN IS USUALLY MAD."

5 Deadly Terms Used by A Woman

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right and you need to shut-up.
2. Nothing: means something & you need to be worried.
3. Go Ahead: this is a dare, not permission, do not do it.
4. Whatever: A woman's way of saying screw you.
5. That's okay: She is thinking long and hard on how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Bonus Word:  
Wow! This is not a compliment, she's amazed that one person could be so stupid. 

Life Lesson

All Women are lesbians.
Every Woman has a boyfriend.
All Women are married.


So don't even try.

It's a simple life philosophy to live by and is guaranteed to improve the lives of everyone that understands the reality of life.

The same principals apply to both men and women. The bottom line is; everyone should stay home, keep to themselves, don't be fooled by social illusions and most importantly have faith in humankind but always know that nobody is trust worthy in life.

Well everybody im single again. but guess what im not upset cuz why would i want someone thats gonna cheat on me.

"Oh no im sorry"

"its ok im better off anyways"

"Yes u deserve better. Men get on my damn nerves!"

"awww wut happend"

"He wanted to b with his wife"

Never Trust One

Should I cut my hair? Do you think I should? Are you sure? Do you really think so? Are you asking that so I leave you alone? Are you saying that so I leave you alone? So you really think it would look good short?
YES!!
But I like it better long.

Too many new games
Too little money.

Baby, enough with the cartoon shirts your not 15 anymore. Get a polo or something.
Honey, maybe you should shave. And since your doing that, why don't you get a haircut too?

Bob, I left because you're not the same person anymore. You've changed.
Sincerely, Sarah

Danica Talos

Golly...Danica Talos...Golly

Why did her character have to die at the end of the Blade movie? What is it about her character that is just so cool. The eyes, the fangs, the attitude, the leadership, the hole dang package. Bravo, to be honest I was displeased that she died at the end but I had to happen, her being a vamp and everything, but part of me was hoping she would have a miraculous change of heart or something, join Blade and the humans and she would be given an antidote so she could live on. 

One as a human, because we're all humans after all.

And I have to comment on Danica's brother (blonde guy in suit) and the big guy (the big guy) they were cool. They all made a great dynamical team that I enjoyed following, like villains that you care about. With individual personalities that exceeded classical boundaries.

The Witching Hour

Which Witch witched wicked willy wind.