THE MAN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH

She Says... /She Means...

We need / I want

It’s your decision. / The correct decision should be

obvious by now.

Do that you want. / You’ll pay for this later.

We need to talk. / I need to complain.

I’m not upset. / Of course I’m upset, you moron!

You’re.. . so manly. / You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You’re certainly attentive tonight. / Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights. / I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient. / I want a new house.

I want new curtains.. / and carpet and furniture and wallpaper...

Hang the picture there. / NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise. / I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? / I’m going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? / I did something today you’re really not going to like.

I’ll be ready in a minute. / Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Are you listening to me!? / Too late, you’re dead.

Yes / No

No / No

Maybe / No

Do you like this recipe? / It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.