Three Words You Should Never Say About Yourself

When we interact with other people, what do we want? As I started to study that question, I came across a wonderful quote. “There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don’t.” Robert Benchley.

Psychologists have a bad habit of oversimplifying people. If I truly wanted to capture the richness of the human condition, I needed more than two categories. Imagine my delight, then, when I found evidence that around the world, there are not two… but three styles of interaction.

In every culture, and every industry, research identifies givers, takers, and matchers. Givers are generous: they help others with no strings attached. Takers are selfish: they try to get as much as they can from others. Matchers are fair: I’ll do something for you, if you do something for me (quid pro quo).

We all have our moments of giving, taking, and matching. We also have a style, though, that reflects how we treat most of the people most of the time. Sometimes people asked me about my style, and I was quick to answer: “I’m a giver.” It was natural—helping others is my top guiding principle in life. I feel more comfortable when I’m on the giving side of an exchange. I don’t like trading favors or being transactional.

It was the wrong answer. Last year, something happened that dramatically changed my perspective. I proposed the concept online, talking about and asking readers to self-identify their style. As a new author, nothing was more gratifying than learning that my words mattered to someone else. Given the topic, I expected to hear some stories about giving. I was completely unprepared, though, for what rolled in from some readers:

“When you wrote about givers, you were talking about me, right?” 

“Your book made me realize how generous I am.”

"I've always been a giver."

I thought these were isolated incidents… until I received feedback from someone I actually knew. In the span of one week, two of her friends heard about my book (from her). They both told her, “I’ve always been a giver.”

We found it off-putting, and we wondered why. At first, we thought it was the relationship. It’s one thing to tell a stranger you’re a giver. It’s another thing to announce it to a friend. If you’re really friends, wouldn’t they already know?!

Upon further discussion, we realized there was a deeper issue of humility. I decided to test our hunch elsewhere by posing a specific question during a real-life presentation: “How many of you are givers?”

In a typical room, about a third of the hands went up. Then, I asked: “How many of you are givers, but didn’t raise your hand, because you know that would violate the norm of modesty that givers are supposed to live by?”

“Those are the real givers,” I joked. “The moment someone raises a hand and says, ‘I’m a giver,’ my first reaction is, “Nope, you’re a taker.”

I say this in jest, but I’m surfacing a serious point:

When I called myself a giver, I failed the test of humility.

Now, when people ask about my style, I tell them I hold the values of a giver, and I aspire to be one. But whether I succeed in living by those values is not my place to judge. It’s in the eye of the beholder.

The lesson I learned: “I’m a giver” is off limits. Generosity is earned, not claimed. Leave it to other people to describe you as a giver—that’s the highest form of praise.

If that doesn’t happen, you can always name a website after yourself.

Credit: Adam Grant
Image credits: Anchorman

Prince Charming

Do you believe your spouse is your Prince or Princess Charming? Now there’s research showing that those who are unrealistically idealistic about their partners are more satisfied with their marriages than the realists.

And the study authors at the University at Buffalo say this idealization seems to thwart the decline in satisfaction that strikes most marriages over time.

Researchers recruited 222 couples as they applied for their marriage licenses. Participants completed surveys every six months for three years. And researchers ranked how idealistic and how realistic each person’s perception was. Those who were unrealistically idealistic actually were happier with their marriage than the others over the three years.

What’s going on? The researchers say the positive outlook — giving your partner more credit than what might be due, and seeing your partner as a closer reflection of your ideal partner than what might be true – probably gives you a stronger sense of optimism that you can resolve problems within the relationship.

The finding flies in the face of conventional wisdom which warns people not to be too “blind” in love.

Classical963

9 reasons why you're probably going to read this list

Lists are everywhere online these days — the 10 best of this, the 25 most of that. It seems as if every subject can be reduced to a list, from the most serious stories to the most frivolous.

One site, BuzzFeed, has become one of the most popular sites on the web (about 135 million monthly unique visitors), largely on the strength of its weird and wacky "listicals." Headlines such as "32 Outrageously Fun Things You'll Want In Your Backyard This Summer," and "The Definitive Ranking Of The Original 151 Pokémon" – they are guaranteed clickbait.

But why are lists so popular? Here are seven reasons why you’ll probably want to read this list:

1. It Can Make Your Brain Happy

In a New Yorker article published last year, writer Maria Konnikova points out that when our brain encounters new information it immediately tries to make sense of it, and the most effective way of processing information is spatially.

In other words, it's easier for us to understand and recall information when it’s presented in a list than in a paragraph.

That’s why we can often remember what’s on our grocery list, even if we've forgotten the list at home. We can visualize the list in a way that we can’t visualize information written in a paragraph. So you might say your brain is hardwired to enjoy this list.

2. There are Nine Items

There’s good news and bad news here. The good news for this list is that seven is an odd number, and although there’s no science to support this, list makers have long believed that odd-number lists generate more traffic that even numbers.

The most common number of items on BuzzFeed lists are 10, 15, 21, and 25. Three of those are odd numbers.

On the other hand, Katie Natopolous, a BuzzFeed list writer in New York, acknowledges that while there’s no magic number when it comes to how long a list should be, she believes the more items the better.

"I like to think that something in the 20s is just more satisfying," she explained in an interview. "If it’s less than 20, it’s just not as fun to read. It’s too short."

Oh well.

3. It’s Easy to Read on Your Phone

On a purely practical level, it’s easier to read vertical content on a smartphone than horizontal content. So lists are perfect for mobile technology.

That’s why your favourite news site will offer up more lists in the morning than later in the day. Audience data shows that people are more likely to read news on their phones in the morning when they wake up and while they’re getting ready to leave the house. They want the quick hit that lists provide with their coffee and corn flakes.

Later in the day, when they’re reading on their computers or tablets, lists aren't quite as highly valued.

4. It Can Simplify Your Life

Psychologists call this the "paradox of choice." In a study that appeared in the Journal of Consumer Psychology in 2011, researchers Claude Messner and Michaela Wanke concluded that consumers get more satisfaction when choosing a product from a limited sample than from a larger one.

It turns out that even though we think we like to be presented with lots of choices, too many options can make us uneasy. "Information overload causes decreased satisfaction," the authors concluded, "and reducing information overload would increase satisfaction."

Lists are a great antidote to information overload. They take the guess work out of reading. You don’t have to scroll down to see how long the story is and then calculate whether you have enough time to finish it. You know what you’re getting and roughly how long it will take you, even before you start.

5. The Headline Tells It Like It Really Is

People don’t like to be fooled, and they especially don’t like to be misled by headlines that promise one thing and deliver another.

Chartbeat, a data analytics company based in New York City, has analyzed what keywords get the most reads per clicks in a headline, and which get the least. The results are surprising. Headlines with words like "Obama," "Snowden" and "Syria" get well read, while the kinds of adjectives you commonly find on lists — like "top," "best," and "richest" — get the least.

The reason, according to Joe Alicata of Chartbeat, is that the former "are legitimate words that are clear descriptors of the actual content." The latter tend to be there simply to trick people into clicking, and don’t deliver as promised. With this list, you knew what you were getting right off the top.

6. It Can Turn Snackers into Lovers

According to Marissa Nelson, who’s in charge of all things digital at the CBC, there are two kinds of online news consumers; snackers, who are just looking for a quick read as they’re breezing through the web, and lovers, who keep coming back because they see you as a trusted source.

"For news brands, it's a cycle." Nelson argues. "You have to catch them as snackers and then turn them into lovers."

Lists are an excellent way to attract snackers looking for a drive-by hit, and once you’ve got them on your site, you can capture their hearts and minds. Come for the lists, stay for the stories.

7. It Conveys Numeric Value to Entities of a Subject You May or May Not Have Prior Knowledge of

Upon reading a list title the reader automatically ponders the question presented in the title and now has the desire to learn which is better, worst, funniest, scariest  – simple terminology that has profound reactions.

8. Trigger Emotions of Skepticism and Intrigue

Tempting title entice readers to further explore lists because of the hint that there is something the reader needs to know.

Here is another example of this I Know 10 Things About You

9. There’s Pictures of Bryan Cranston (Joe Brody, Godzilla 2014) and Paloma Kwiatkowski (Cody Brennan, Bates Motel)

Thumbnails – those little pictures that sit next to headlines and on search pages — are major drivers of traffic. Katie Natopolous of BuzzFeed says her data science team has done the research and found that colour images do better than black and white, and human faces do better than cartoons.

But the most important finding involved actors and actresses.

"Big budget movie stars in a thumbnail will always do great," Natopolous explained. "People love clicking on recognizable faces."

Netiquette*

Do you like to be seen as rude, lazy or uneducated? Failing to follow some basic rules of web etiquette - netiquette - results in just that. Without the benefit of seeing you face to face (F2F), the type of human being that you are or are not, your intelligence, your professionalism and even your ethics will be judged by how you communicate with others online.

Email Netiquette

Become a good Netizen and follow these online basics in your online communications.

1. You are what you write. How and what you write provides clues to the kind of person you are. Learn to write clearly and accurately.
2. Assume that email is not secure. Never put in an email message anything you would not put on a postcard.
3. Use descriptive, key words in the subject heading. This allows the recipients to scan and prioritize a long list to which they must respond.
4. Do not type in all caps. This is considered yelling or screaming online. Used mixed case instead.
5. Respect the privacy of e-mail addresses. Always know to whom you are sending an email. If you wish to send to a group, learn to use the BCC feature of your email program: the receiver gets a copy of the e-mail but their email address remains invisible to the other recipients. If a message becomes a 2-way conversation, make sure you don’t include other people.
6. Be wise when forwarding private e-mails. All private email is considered to be copyrighted by the original author. Ask permission before forwarding/posting any private emails!
7. Know how large a message you are sending. Be brief and clear in your message. If you are sending attachment, minimize, compress or "zip" large files before sending. Be wise and don’t clutter another person’s mailbox will unnecessary messages.
8. Take the time to review your email before clicking send. Spell check your email, proofread for errors, capitalize your sentences and use appropriate punctuation and grammar. This is especially important in educational e-learning, business environments, or other online contacts where proper formatting is crucial to building your relationship and credibility.
9. Create a signature file. This is a line or two at the end of your message with contact information so people know who you are. Create it ahead of time so that it is automatically appended to all your e-mails.
10. Respond promptly to emails. Like phone calls or voicemails, provide quick feedback to your emails. If you want a quick response, remember that people live in different time zones and factor that in accordingly.
11. You are what you write. How you communicate will give a perception as to the kind of person you are. Learn to write with clarity.
12. Nasty e-mails rarely deserve a response. Ignore and delete them. It's the best snub.
13. Do not forward jokes and chain letter e-mails. If you must, ask first.
14. Get to know online acronyms. Popular ones include BTW, “by the way,” IMO, “in my opinion,” WTG, “way to go,” FYI, “for your information.” Keep in mind that acronyms may not be suitable for all emails.
15. Sending email in plain text is best. Email is a quick and straightforward form a communications. Adding unnecessary colour and/or graphic images may make your posting difficult to read since not all email software has the ability.
16. Be careful with humor and sarcasm. Written comments can often be misinterpreted. Emoticons (i.e., smiley faces or other symbols alongside your text) often help the recipient ‘interpret’ your intentions. Be safe and limit your use in professional environment

Chat Netiquette

• Use "Emoticons." Also referred to as smileys, these are characters or symbols which are used are used in conjunction with text to overlay emotion in a written message, to clarify the meaning. Here are just a few examples of some popular smileys (it helps if you read them sideways):

:-) smile	:-I hmmm	(:-) smiley big-face	;-) wink
:-( sad	[:-) listening to iPod	:-& tongue-tied	:-@ screaming
:-D big smile	:-} wry or fiendish grin	:-0 big mouth	:-] sarcasm

• Always say goodbye. When you are leaving a chat room or finished the conversation, let the other person know rather than leaving them hanging.
• Don’t correct typing errors. Unlike emails, the purpose of chat is to carry on a ‘live’ conversation. Punctuation and typos are accepted, as long as your meaning is clear.

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Do you agree, disagree or have your own to add? Leave a comment below.

A Quote about Time

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Time is free, But it's priceless.

You Can't own it.
But you can use it.

You can't keep it.
But you can spend it.

Once you've lost is.
You can never get it back.

- Harvey Mackay

Murphy's Laws of Combat

1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

2. Incoming fire has the right of way.

3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.

4. There is always a way.

5. The easy way is always mined.

6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

7. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are
dangerous.

8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:

a. When you're ready for them.
b. When you're not ready for them.

9. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.

10. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.

11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main
attack.

12. A "sucking chest wound" is natures way of telling you to slow
down.

13. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.

15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.

16. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be
able to get out.

17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

18. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in a
combat zone.

19. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.

21. Friendly Fire Isn't.

Words for Teenagers

Northland College principal John Tapene has offered the following words from a judge who regularly deals with youth. "Always we hear the cry from teenagers, 'what can we do, where can we go?'

"My answer is this: Go home, mow the lawn, wash the windows, learn to cook, build a raft, get a job, visit the sick, study your lessons and after you've finished, read a book. Your town does not owe you recreational facilities and your parents do not owe you fun.

"The world does not owe you a living, you owe the world something. You own it your time, energy and talent so that no one will be at war, in sickness and lonely again. In other words grow up, stop being a cry baby, get out of your dream world and develop a backbone not a wishbone. Start behaving like a responsible person. You are important and you are needed. It's too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now and that somebody is you!"

Time & Karma

When a bird is alive...it eats ants.

When the bird has dies...ants eat it.

One tree can be made into a million matchsticks...

but only one matchstick is needed to burn a million trees!

Circumstances can change at any time...

Don't devalue or hurt anyone

in this life...

You may be powerful today

but time is more powerful

than you!

Watch your thoughts	FOR ▶	they become words
Watch your words	FOR ▶	they become actions
Watch your actions	FOR ▶	they become habits
Watch your habits	FOR ▶	they become character
Watch your character	FOR ▶	in becomes your destiny

Cats and Dogs Agree

Cat: I give hi belly rubs and he takes the blame for what i break.

Weapon of Choice

I'll beat a motherfucker...

With another motherfucker.

I personally look forward to applying this strategy to a zombie apocalypse. No longer will the good people of Survivor Nation have to wait in fear of running out of ammunition and dulled blades.

Is your weapon not as effective as it once was? Just drop it and grab yourself the closest zombie and start swinging.

Happy Hunting!

If the Shoes Fit

We stop looking for monsters under the bed when we realize they're inside of us.

It's funny because it's true.The devil you know will always be better than the devil you don't. So why doesn't everyone feed their inner demon and keep it under control. The world would be much a sunnier/warmer place if this were the case.

Taco Bell's Xbox Giveaway

In Canada only, from July 2, 2012 until Sept 2, 2012 pick up your contest instant win scratcher cards, go online, enter your PIN, answer the easy skill testing question and have your chance to win.

Skill Question

The questions are simple four step math problems so there is no need to worry about it, but be warned if you answer incorrectly your winning will be forfeited with no do overs, so just spend the 60 seconds to answer properly and you'll be fine. By the way you get 60 seconds to answer the question but you'll only need like 15-30 seconds to do it and have time to double check.

As I said the questions are all four part and all math, you need to know how to add, subtract, multiply and divide, so example:

Multiply	10 * 15
Add	50
Divide	10
Subtract	20

Answer = 0


Didn't Win?

Not everyone is going to win the big prizes, but we can all enjoy the fun nature of the contest, anticipation of winning or not and since there are multiple rounds, the last rounds have the most prizes available so there is always tomorrow! And of course the bonus coupon for Taco Bell's Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap Supreme Meal for Two, $9.99.

Sun Protection

All legitimate sunscreens do the same thing, whether it's a $10.00 bottle or a $30.00 bottle. The only difference is the higher end products have more stuff added to it, such as perfumes or skin softeners.

Doctors recommend buying the less expensive sunscreens because our skin doesn't truly need all the extra stuff. The sunscreen is all that matters. In fact, when people use the expensive product, they use it scarcely, and often not enough to effectively protect their skin from the sun's UV rays. It is strongly encouraged people buy more of the less expensive sunscreen because you wont be restricted and thus can use as much as you need and sufficiently protect your skin from harmful UV rays.

Sunscreen vs Sunblock

Sunblock contains physical or inorganic ingredients that reflect and scatter the UV light and acts as a wall between your skin and the sun.

Sunscreen contains chemicals that protect your skin by absorbing and reflecting UV rays and allows a certain range of UV light to be absorbed into the skin.  

What You Eat

Also Consider your diet from protecting against the sun. For both short term (such as, preventing sun burns) and long-term (such as, preventing cancer). 

The USDA recommends we eat 7 to 13 servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Most people don't come anywhere close.

Avoid  eating greasy and fatty foods, they are very bad for the body for a number of reasons but in regards to this article it weakens your bodies defenses against the harms of UV damage. Foods that help strengthen your bodies natural defenses against sun damage are fruits and vegetables, and greatly deep green vegetables, green tea as well.

Do It

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

LOVE WHAT YOU DO

It really is that black and white once you stop and think about it.

A Page From Bill Gates

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.




Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You wont be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way fro paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: You school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employees are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life  people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

It's funny because it's true. Do this favor for yourself once, get there on a bike.

Car of the Future

Introducing the first post in what I plan to be many regarding ZOMBIES we all hate them and we all love them. But why? Some say it has to do with how they reflect our humanity but at the same time are utterly void of any human qualities, they are us, but stripped down to bare hunger, similar to the human ID. And the fact that they are scary fun to shoot, chase and fight. I'm a big fan of the zombie genre; movies, games, television, etc.



 Now on a more serious note, I want as many humans as possible to be prepared for the possible Zombie Apocalypse so remember this. And you will be one step closer to joining the survivors.





Be aware that a survivor can never be prepared enough for an oncoming horde.

A Reason Not To Smoke

We all know smoking is bad for many reasons, yet people still do it, so if you're someone who smokes and the health warnings haven't changed your mind read on or pass this article along.

Smoking is an expensive habit, more expensive than you would think.

An average smoker smokes a pack a day, in Canada a pack is like $9.50 (Canadian) so in one year that comes to $3,467.50 (before taxes, and not including lighters, etc..), humans of all ages smoke but lets use someone doing it steadily for 10 years for this example, 10 yrs x $3467.50 = $34,675.00. Now, thats a lot of lettuce. Even after the tenth year cigarettes don't get any cheaper, chances are they will cost more, so every year, everyday, every cigarette is eating more of your hard earned money, it doesn't matter if you throw it away half way through, the price is to get it in your pocket.

Some fun for you, plug in your stats and see what comes up.

(Number of cigarettes smoked in a day) X (Cost of ONE pack) = Cost of Smoking Per Day
                (Cigarettes in a pack)                                                              (CSPD)

To see the cost for longer periods of time:

Week: 7 X Cost of Smoking Per Day (CSPD)
Fortnight: 14 X Cost of Smoking Per Day (CSPD)
Month: 31 X Cost of Smoking Per Day (CSPD)
Year: 365 X Cost of Smoking Per Day (CSPD)

... you get the idea.

To top it off, consider if you would have invested your money spent on cigarettes in a savings account or stock market, with a compounded interest rate, wouldn't it be nice to have that money available for you? Just imagine when you go smokefree, how much extra money will be in your pocket. It's amazing to think about how much money you have wasted over the years on smoking.

So go ahead and imagine smoking had no impact on your health for minute, just take a moment to think of how extra cash you would have today if you never started smoking, or look forward ten years, would you rather have a pile of cash or the memory of cigarettes?
Just some food for thought.

Share with someone this can be useful to. 

SwagBucks

Swagbucks.com is a search engine dedicated to helping you earn digital dollars called "Swag Bucks", which can be redeemed for exclusive Swagbucks merchandise. Do what you do everyday plus earn free stuff at the same time. 

How it works!

• Searching the Web
• Trusted Surveys
• Voting in the Daily Polls
• Sending In Prize Photos and Videos
• Watch Videos
• Invite Your Friends to Join
• Completing Special Offers
• Finding Swag Codes

EARN
You are awarded Swag bucks from these activities and more.

REDEEM
Redeem your Swag Bucks for exclusive Swagbucks.com products and more in the SwagStore. Tons of prizes to choose, ranging from trading cards to iPhones, clothes to jewelery and a lot more.

I think Swagbucks is definitely worth checking out, because I search the web very often and never before was I able to accumulate currency for things I would actually want. The arcade and community are also cool and there is always stuff happening.