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Guido 'Douchebag' Explained

Aug 13, 2012

You've got to be kidding me.

Some sort of extra terrestrial. Know as Guido (plural: Guidos), also known as Douchebag, indigenous to Jersey, reports indicate more nest around the world, such as Sweden, Australia and around the United States.


Notice the hat, made by applying buckets of industrial strength cement to hair trimmings to form a hat and protection against the sun.

Headband worn all day and night, used to keep dandruff out of eyes and to give the illusion of exercising.

Eyebrows trimmer, shaved and waxed, typically by Koreans to get the distinct symmetrical design.

Skin is badly damaged from extreme over saturation of orange skin dye chemicals. Reported to cause terminal illness. Giving the creature's skin the glow of oranges, possible to make crossing the road safer and the creature more visible to motorists.

Jewelery consists of a cubic zirconium stud in the ear and a chain around the neck. Possible intended as gifts for a female mate,

Duckface, mouth gesture, a likely evolutionary side effect as the creature is believed to have evolved from ducks and other small birds.

Thin beard just above the chin, intended to give the illusion the head is smaller than it really is. Also to offset the massive blob of darkness on the top of the head, with a counter balance to make the creature appear less deranged.

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